general ramblings :)

I've managed to undo the damage from last week and weighed in today at 160.8.  My goodness, I can't wait to break through into the 150s!

I have to admit I've been feeling kind of "blah" over the past week.  Although I am finding ways to stay active, I haven't had a solid exercise routine since finishing Body Revolution a few weeks ago.  Perhaps that is throwing me off.  I continue to run 2-3 times a week, but I'm having a hard time with that as well.  I make sure my blood sugar is on the higher side before I begin (I usually need to start in the 10.0 to 12.0 mmol/L range), and even drink a 1/2 glass of juice before starting as well, but I always seem to return home with a low blood sugar which means even more juice and calories (not to mention having that drunken-like feeling as I stumble up my road to get home).

I do know that my stress level has been gradually elevating with thinking about all the things we need to do to prepare for our big move.  Mr. McMuffintop still hasn't received the official "green light" from his physical (although he is overweight and his cholesterol was elevated, the person who did the physical said it shouldn't prevent him from getting hired; the hold up is simply that the company's doctor hasn't had a chance to review and approve the physical yet).

So until he gets that green light, everything we need to do to prepare is on hold.  We have been searching MLS for house listings, but we really need to get out there and look for ourselves.  We can't decide whether to buy a house or a condo.  We want to adopt a child/children so a house would be better, but if for some reason it doesn't happen then a smaller condo would suit us just fine.  Gah, I wish I could see the future!

Ok, back to positive thoughts. :)

This weekend I am hosting a Mother's-Day-slash-birthday dinner for my family, so I plan to prepare as much of the food in advance as possible so that I can enjoy the day rather than be running around in a frenzy.  I already made some cupcakes last weekend and immediately put them in the freezer so that they would be out-of-sight, out-of-mind.  McMuffintop 1, delicious food 0!

Mr. McMuffintop joins the party?

Although Mr. McMuffintop has essentially been offered a new position with a new company, in order to officially be hired he has to pass a background check and physical.

For the most part, Mr. M is healthy and in decent shape.  Even at my heaviest weight of 208 lbs. he could easily pick me up (now he can pick me up and flip me upside down).  However he has a little belly and has known for a while that he should lose a few pounds.  He was pretty upset a couple of years ago when his pant size went from 34 to 36, but as time passed he became used to the new size and hasn't thought much more of it.

Well after having his physical yesterday, he now realizes that he needs to jump onto the weight-loss train with me.  At 5'9" his weight is just under 230 lbs.  That puts him at a BMI of almost 34.  He was pretty shocked to learn that it means he is obese. 

I've known that he was considered obese, and gently mentioned it when I first started my weight loss journey in January because I thought he should try to lose some weight too, but at the time I don't think he really wanted to do the necessary work (a mindset I've been in many times myself).  I didn't pester him about it because, as I know by experience, it's something that one has to decide to want to do for one's self.

But I am hoping that hearing the words from a doctor he is serious about wanting to lose weight with me now.  Mostly for his own health and well being, but also selfishly because it has been a real struggle every time he comes home from work to manage my own attempt at weight loss.  I know that the food I put in my mouth is my choice, but it's really difficult to choose not to eat bad things when they are constantly in front of me for two weeks at a time.

We have tried to lose weight together before and at the time it made me miserable.  You know, the whole "guys-tend-to-lose-weight-faster-than-women" thing.  But this time I have a good head start, so I feel positive about doing it together again.  In fact, I welcome it because it will help keep me on the right path.

Anyone else trying to lose weight with their significant other?  I'd love to hear tips on how you manage to do it together or issues that cause conflict.

Binge Eating

I missed reporting last week on Weigh-In Wednesday.  The scale read 161.8 lbs. (a loss of one pound from the previous week)

Today: 164.6 lbs.  *insert big sad face here*

It's totally all my own fault, and I'm sure at least one pound can be attributed to sodium intake and lack of water.  But I have been on a self-sabotaging binge streak for the past 5 days.  The following contributed to this gain:

- french fries & hamburgers
- fried fish
- beer, lots of beer
- ice cream
- pancakes & maple syrup
- potato chips
- left-over Easter chocolate

As I look back on these foods, I feel gross just seeing it written out. 

It started on Friday when I caved in to Mr. McMuffintop's suggestion of having burgers (and beer) for dinner.  We had spent the entire day cleaning our house from top to bottom to eliminate all the accumulated drywall dust from renovations.  I felt I "deserved" a treat knowing how many calories I'd burned throughout the day and didn't feel the least bit guilty indulging that evening.

But after our dinner and 3 beers later, I remembered that we were going to a pancake breakfast the next morning, something that had been planned for weeks.  "That's ok," I thought.  "This evening's dinner was a little bump in the road, and I already knew about the pancakes so I don't need to feel guilty about that either.  Once tomorrow morning is over I can get back on track."

So I ate pancakes.  A big stack.  With delicious, fresh maple syrup.  And breakfast sausages.  Oh my.

And then we went fishing and caught so much fish we had to give some away.  Saturday night we had the fish for dinner.  Fish is healthy, right?  Not so much when you batter and fry it.  And drink more beer with it.

The maple syrup on Saturday morning triggered my sweet tooth and on Sunday I found myself searching the house for anything to satisfy it, which led me to polishing off some Easter chocolate that had been stashed in the freezer.  Apparently it wasn't enough because when I was at the grocery store later that day to pick up vegetables to make a healthy salad, I found myself leaving the store with a tub of vanilla ice cream.

After eating vanilla ice cream for dessert that night, I felt like I needed to balance the sweetness with something salty, which is when potato chips entered the picture.

But all this binge-eating didn't stop on Sunday night.  I figured I'd blown the week already, and Wednesdays are the first day of my weigh-in weeks, so I continued the madness on Monday and Tuesday.

I feel bloated and actually have a bit of a headache this morning (first headache I've had in months).  I didn't sleep well last night.  All proof of how toxic sugary and fatty foods are.

So today I'm picking myself up, dusting myself off, and getting back on plan. 

Next goal: kick the 160s to the curb.